The Columbus Blue Jackets finished the season with the worst record in the NHL last season and ended up picking second in last week’s draft, as they even managed to suck at sucking. They missed out on the top can’t-miss prospect Nail Yakupov (who’s already making good use of Twitter) but were able to select equally can’t-miss defenseman Ryan Murray, who many scouts predict is ready for the NHL right now. As far as players to rebuild around, they could have done much worse. As it turns out, though, they also could have done much better…as in an entire draft of picks better.
The Colts did well at No. 1. Other teams, not so much
The NFL Draft is a pretty stressful time for coaches and general managers. The fate of their team literally rests with the players they add, and picking a couple of busts is the fastest way to find yourself out of a job. There’s endless hours of tape and scouting reports and conflicting theories about every player’s “upside,” whatever that actually means. It’s a million dollar decision that’s made in a pressure cooker. Some teams seem to handle it well and make sound, reasonable choices. Those teams are less fun to mock, however, so we’re going to focus on the teams who seem to have panicked at the overwhelming selection, like a starving child at a buffet who can’t handle all those choices so he gets a couple of water chestnuts and a spoonful of beets. We’ll count down the five head-scratchingest, most bewildering, meltdowny, terrible picks in the 2012 NFL Draft. Come for the mocking hindsight criticism, stay for the pictures of NFL coaches looking dumb.
The NFL Draft got off to a fast-paced start last night as the first round picks went whipping by so fast Mike Mayock couldn’t keep it all straight and looked like his head was going to explode. There were about a thousand trades and a couple of surprises, and of course there was the reaction shots of players as they officially realized a dream of making it to the NFL. It’s a very emotional time for young prospects, as the culmination of all their hard work and dedication is finally paying off as they get to hear their name announced on TV and they find out where they’re going to be playing football next season. It’s a great time for these people and they surround themselves with their support system, all the people who helped them realize their dream, together to celebrate the accomplishment of the football player. That being said, one thing it most certainly isn’t is a time to play practical jokes.
"Back in my day, we carried 13 defensive players on our backs" -Jim Brown
Trent Richardson put together a Heisman-candidate 2011 season, and impressed a lot of people along the way. In his first year as the full time starting running back for Alabama, Richardson was a human highlight reel, using his speed to run away from people, his strength to run over people, and his jukes to start an impressive collection of jock straps. Most scouts are calling him the total package running back and the best running back coming out of college since Adrian Peterson, even better than Mark Ingram, who won a Heisman while at Alabama and was a first round pick of the New Orleans Saints last season. All that talent will likely make him a top-5 pick in tonight’s draft, with the most likely destination being Cleveland, who needs help all over. Everyone is convinced that this is a good pick, safe though not flashy, and that Richardson will add some playmaking ability to the Browns terrible offense. Well, almost everyone.
The stage is set...to throw all your mock drafts out the window!
Draft day is upon us! No more revised mock drafts, no more changes to the big board, no more having to hear Jacksonville tell everyone how super excited Miami is about Ryan Tanehill, and the cold dreary NFL offseason finally starts to come to an end. With uncertainty coming in the draft, it felt like a good time to dust off our Poor Prognostication skills and do our own Mild Mannered Mock Draft! Of course, the first two picks are certain locks, but after that, it’s a free-for-all! To spice up your draft viewing part, here’s a little Mild Mannered drinking game for you: whenever a player is drafted, drink however many spots I’m off by and enjoy the hangover! Let’s get to the breakdowns!
Could you repeat that? He may not have understood the question...
The leadup to the NFL Draft can be a stressful time for top college athletes, who must undergo rigorous poking and prodding, as well as running around in skin tight underwear while a bunch of old guys watch and nod their heads while scribbling little notes. What do those notes say? “Nice butt,” maybe? That’s creepy NFL scouts, knock that off. One of the biggest stress inducers for some, however, comes by way of the vaunted Wonderlic test. The Wonderlic has long been used by the NFL to test a prospects ability to think and reason quickly, giving them a limited amount of time to complete 50 logic and reasoning questions. It’s long been dismissed as not being that important in the draft process, but it’s always fun for people to point and laugh when somebody bombs it. Enter this year’s recipient of the “Wonderlic duncecap,” Morris Claiborne!
Andrew Luck, runner up for the 2010 Heisman Trophy, decided to go back to school for the 2011 season despite speculation that he could have been the number one overall pick in the 2011 NFL draft. That decision paved the way for Cam Newton to become the undisputed number one pick to Carolina, and opened the door for Luck to become the number one pick in 2012. Not much has happened to change that perception, despite Phil Simms trying to get people to notice him and Robert Griffin III putting on a highlight reel of a season and winning the Heisman, giving Luck “back-to-back Heisman runner up status” to put on his resume. The Indianapolis Colts officially named Luck their choice with top pick in Thursday’s draft, ending the speculation that nobody was really having, and are set to pick first overall for the first time since they picked Peyton Manning (now a Denver Bronco) in 1998. Replacing one number one pick with another? That must have Colts fans pretty excited after it worked out so well last time, right?
Roger Goodell celebrates the Draft by getting booed mercilessly
The NFL Draft kicks off Thursday and we here at Mild Mannered want to give our readers a chance to win somewhere brand new Nike NFL game jersey from your favorite team! Partnering with the folks at Shopcade, we are introducing a three day contest during the draft this weekend where you could win a jersey of your favorite NFL team.
Shopcade, a revolutionary social commerce platform that allows users to share and discover trends and products in real time and earn real cash rewards on products they endorse, is launching a 3-day NFL competition on Facebook.
The winner of the competition will be able to select the new Nike NFL team jersey of his or her choice. All new jersey designs were released in the beginning of April and boast a tighter fit and vibrant color shadings. They are worth $99.99 and will go on sale at the end of April.
The Shopcade jersey competition will begin promtly at 9am EST on April 26th, 2012 and end at 3pm on April 28th, 2012.
Once the competition begins, users may enter by telling us which team they support and then sharing their team’s featured image all on Shopcade’s Facebook Fan Page (link below). After completing both steps, they will be entered to win the jersey of their choice and the winner will be selected at random and announced on Sunday, April 29th.
In short, head over to their Facebook page and like them, then tell them who your favorite team is, and you can win one of 31 great NFL team jersies, or one Arena League jersey if you’re a Seahawks fan! It’s so simple, even Morris Claiborne could do it!
We here at Mild Mannered appreciate our readers and want you all to look your best this NFL season. So while you are liking stuff, head over to our Facebook as well and give us a like. There, you’ll get updates on the Shopcade contest as well as other giveaways and site news.
On Thursday, the long cold NFL offseason finally starts to thaw out and we get to see who the Jaguars will reach to draft two rounds higher than everyone else (a tradition unlike any other), and you could earn some nice swag to kick the 2012 season off right! Get Enthused!
With the NFL Draft coming up on Thursday, we thought it would be fun to expand on our Who’s not impressed… series with some of the top projected picks in the 2012 class. First up, the Heisman Trophy winning, action figure owning, novelty sock wearing, “can’t miss” prospect Robert Griffin III. Now, most people quickly became quite enamored with the big-armed, swift legged quarterback prospect when he started making the media rounds in the aftermath of winning the Heisman. His soft-spoken nature, the crazy socks, and down-to-earth gratitude for the opportunity to play football seemed to play really well with the media and scouts were touting him as another Cam Newton type of franchise quarterback. That is, up until last week when RGIII’s likely draft destination (Washington) was all but assured. That’s when some unnamed scouts started talking about the Baylor quarterback’s “attitude problems,” saying that he has a sense of entitlement and doesn’t get along well with others. Now, a former college foe is piling on as well.
The NFL draft is upon us, which means plenty of double-talk, misleading leads, and outright slander from GMs and scouts as they try and win some kind of mind game with other GMs and affect the draft stock of certain players to their benefit. There was the leaked Wonderlic score of LSU cornerback Morris Claiborne who got a Vince Young-ian 4, which may not have actually been his score depending on who you ask. Then there’s the scouts who are now coming out saying the universally adored Robert Griffin III has some attitude problems and has issues dealing with people. Strange that nobody in the last six months has brought that up, despite having him talk to EVERYBODY in his post-Heisman media world tour. Most of the time, however, the cloak and dagger subterfuge is all about disguising who teams are going to pick. The idea is to keep your cards close to your chest so that other teams can’t “sabotage” your draft or outflank you or capture your flag or some other paranoid delusion all in an effort to “win” some game that nobody is keeping score of. Turns out, the Indianapolis Colts are the very worst at it.
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