The San Diego Chargers Are A Beautiful Disaster

Can’t hide in there Phil. We still see the suck.

There are few things you can count on in life. Death, taxes, and the San Diego Chargers imploding at some point are pretty much it. The Chargers are letting us off the hook of waiting around for them to be terrible and gotten right to business in disappointing their fans. It started at the end of last season, when head coach Norv Turner and G.M. A.J. Smith both inexplicably kept their jobs despite repeated failure, continuing embarrassments, and all-around terribleness. This season, the Chargers enter their bye week at 3-3 and can already see their season crumbling around them. Let’s watch…

Roger Goodell Is Super Sorry For The Unfortunate Events He Totally Caused

“Welp….sorry about that”

Fans rejoiced this week when the NFL finally came to terms with the locked out officials and brought the regular refs back to the game. This was only after two months of stalled labor talks resulted in replacement refs standing in for three weeks worth of games that count, and they made a bit of a mess with it. The outcry became so great after Monday Night Football’s thoroughly discussed ending, the league finally relented, made some concessions in their demands, and got a deal done.

Today, Roger Goodell sent out a personal letter to me, and anyone else who has ever given their e-mail to sign up for anything related to the NFL, explaining the whole situation. Turns, he’s super sorry you guys, and wants us all to just get along. Let’s rip this PR form letter to shreds, shall we?!?

All The Reasons Why The Man Who Decided Monday Night Football Shouldn’t Have Decided Monday Night Football

“I dunno” – Easley family motto

The fallout for the crew that officiated the Monday Night Football fiasco just keeps coming. In the days since that fateful Pacific Northwest evening, more and more details have come out about the referee who gave the Seahawks the win by calling the “Fail Mary” a touchdown for Golden Tate. His name is Lance Easley, a banker from Northern California, and his fateful evening as side judge in Seattle is going to stick with him for awhile. And as we learn more about the man who doesn’t understand what the word “simultaneous” means, the more we see he REALLY shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

Jerry Jones Is Terrible…Well, Still Terrible

“Nope, didn’t see a thing! Everything is super-good!”

The NFL has been in the news cycle all day for all the wrong reasons after the replacement officials, lovingly referred to as “those f******* scabs” by frustrated fans everywhere, put forth one of the poorest efforts ever for officiating. We ran down the worst offenses yesterday, but people are still steamed after the terrible and controversial ending to the Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and Green Bay Packers. We won’t hash out the details again because RAGE, but the fallout has been far reaching.

Players have taken to social media to voice their displeasure, extending even beyond those directly affected. Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, a fake Frank Gore, and countless others have taken to Twitter to tell the world, and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in particular, that there needs to be resolution. Fans have talked about boycotting the games for Week 4, but that’s not going to happen becasue FOOBAW, so we’ll have to settle for leaving 70,000 voicemails for the league office and hope that someone gets the message. Let’s just hope the person taking that message isn’t Jerry Jones, cause he’s terrible and thinks everything is awesome.

Biggest Meltdowns Of NFL Week 3: Scab Ref Edition!

Yeah, we’re pretty disgusted too, Mike

The labor dispute between the NFL and the NFLRA has officially claimed its first victim. Congratulations, Green Bay Packers! You may be the sacrificial lamb that finally breaks the stalemate between these two sides! After a rough outing in Week 2, the replacement refs were downright awful in Week 3, taking the focus away from some very exciting football and pushing players and coaches to the edges of frustration and they aren’t going to take it anymore. Players have started tweeting their frustration, one player reportedly told a referee to go “kill yourself,” during a game, and coaches have broken down and chased referees down the tunnel to tell them just how much they think of them (spoiler: NOT MUCH!). So with these terrible stand-ins in mind, we present a very special Biggest Meltdowns: Scab Ref Edition!

Jim Harbaugh Is A Smooth Talker OR These Refs Are Clueless

Jim Harbaugh using his words to talk things out with refs

The NFL is quickly running out of good will on their side in their fight against the referees’ labor union. The “replacement refs” a.k.a. scabs, are the biggest reason why. After a rough Week 2 of officiating, fans endured a BRUTAL Week 3 that saw a blatant helmet to helmet hit send Darrius Heyward Bay to the hospital go unflagged, Redskins OC Kyle Shannahan go after an official after the game, and Bill Belichick lose his cool and grab an official to try and get an explanation of some highly questionable calls.

But perhaps the most egregious boneheadedness of the weekend came in the San Francisco 49ers loss to the Minnesota Vikings when Niners coach Jim Harbugh was granted two extra challenges in the fourth quarter…by asking nice apparently?

Poor Prognostication: Tiny Fists Of Triumph

Just squeaked it out in week 1? We’ll take it

We start off the prognostication on a mildly high note, finishing the week 4-3 in our Week 1 picks (hooray for not being sub-.500!). We get back to our normal slate of five picks this week, and hope to match (or even exceed) the luke-warm success of last week. The games this week include some really terrible matchups that I wouldn’t want to wish on my worst enemies. Cleveland-Cincinnati, Buffalo-Kansas City, and Oakland-Miami sound like games that you would show to Guantanamo detainees when you needed them to talk. We don’t pick any of those games and send our deepest condolences to the markets that those games will be shown. Picks are in bold!

Biggest Meltdowns Of NFL Week 1

“ERMAHGERD FURBAW”

Week 1 is in the books, and with it came the unpredictable, crazy, and unexpected turnover of the NFL which leads to wild speculation. THE REDSKINS ARE GOOD! MARK SANCHEZ FOR MVP! THE 49ERS ARE A DYNASTY…AFTER WEEK1! And so on and so forth. More importantly, however, the NFL gave us our weekly dose of delicious meltdowns. There are some surpirses (no Romo?) and some unsurprises (Jags and Browns still terrible!), but it’s still just as tasty. Come for the failure, stay for the pictures of rich people playing a game looking silly.

Bart Scott Is Really Bad With Words And When To Stop Saying Them

Let Bart Scott tell you in detail how he isn’t talking to you anymore

The New York Jets shocked everybody on Sunday by coming out and looking like a pretty impressive football team. Mark Sanchez threw for 266 yards, three touchdowns, and just one interception, Shonn Greene run for 94 yards and a touchdown, and the Jets’ defense forced four turnovers in a 48-28 blowout of Buffalo. Does this mean we have to stop making fun of the Jets and seriously consider them as a legitimate threat in the AFC East this season? Haha, no, we’ll never have to stop making fun of them. They do interviews!

Santonio Holmes Is Bad At Keeping Information To Himself

Santonio is very pleased about his helping hand. Mark…yeah, not as much.

The New York Jets have been a media circus since Rex Ryan got hired as their head coach, but the spotlight has been intensified by a thousand since New York traded for Tim Tebow. How would Mark Sanchez, who has been called coddled by his teammates, react to having a super-popular miracle worker as his backup? The team had to give him a rich extension just for thinking about talking to Peyton Manning to help repair Mark’s hurt feelings, so bringing in someone for Jets fans to call for in place of Sanchez couldn’t possibly go over well.

Surprisingly, though, Sanchez has been fairly composed through this offseason. He’s seemed to ratchet up his workouts and preparation and has publicly embraced Tebow as a member of the team (to the utter joy of Jets slashfic enthusiasts). Turns out though, that’s been something he had to work on, which we now know thanks to world’s worst teammate/confidant Santonio Holmes.