Another Olympian Kicked Out Of London Games For Lack Of Effort

“Good job, good effort!” – Makhloufi (the one not running)

The track-and-field events have gotten underway at the Olympics and they have wasted little time in joining in on the list of embarrassing snafus that we’ve seen from the games this year. In an escalation of last week’s badminton scandal, another Olympian has been kicked out of the games for not trying hard enough. This time, it’s Algerian runner Taoufik Makhloufi was got stuck in a race he didn’t want to run, and has been punished for quitting mid-race. Guess he should have been riding a bike. Olympics!

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How Falling On Purpose In Olympic Cycling Gets You A Do-Over

“Hooray loopholes!”

The hosts of the Olympics had a bit of a slow start to these games, but Great Britain has turned it around and is pulling in medals at an impressive pace, but yesterday they were overshadowed by yet another Olympic controversy. This time, it comes in the men’s team sprint competition (on bikes). The British men won gold (congrats), but almost failed to make it out of the first round. Fortunately for them, they found a loophole (of chasm-like proportions) that allowed them to get a restart after a slip at the start threatened to get them eliminated early. That loop hole? Just fall down…on purpose…and then tell everyone about it.

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Another Day, Another Olympic Scandal: Corrupt Boxing Edition


Clearly the guy checking the mat for cracks is winning this fight

Yesterday, we talked about all the missteps that the Olympics had stumbled over so far in these games, highlighted by the four badminton teams who tried to lose intentionally. Well, today is a new day for these Olympic Games, a fresh start, a chance to really show us the best…oh, wait, no, nevermind. Just another scandal, this time in boxing, after Magomed Abdulhamidov of Azerbaijan was awarded the win over Japan’s Satoshi Shimizu 22-17 despite getting knocked down SIX TIMES in the third and final round. That’s not just a little fishy, that’s a beached whale in your living room level of suspicious.

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When Adults Playing Badminton Becomes “Nonsense”


“If you’re going to make a mockery of hitting a shuttlecock, you can leave”


The Olympics are in full swing, and in addition to the heart-felt stories of triumph, there’s been more than a few embarrassing gaffes on the part of IOC. There was the ridiculous rule of “only two per country” that got put on display in the women’s all-around gymnastics qualifier, the North Korean soccer team got introduced under the South Korea flag (whoops), a South Korean fencer was robbed in the semifinals when a clock error allowed an extra second for her German counterpart to score the winning point (the South Korean fencer then sat on the floor for over an hour, an emotional wreck, while her country appealed the decision and lost), Japan appealing the men’s gymnastics judging with a hand full of cash (which looks suspicisios) to get awarded the silver over Great Britain, and NBC has been taking a public beating for their tape-delayed and xenophobic coverage of these Olympic games. Well, time to add one more embarrassing black eye to the list!

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“So that’s what that feels like,” says US Swim Team

“Welp, that whole ‘hero’ thing sure was fun”

At the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, the US Men’s 4X100 Swim Team shocked the world when they rallied past France in the last turn to take the gold. It was a huge moment for the USA and their star Michael Phelps, who went on to win eight gold medals. Well, turnabout is fair play because on Sunday, the Americans went into the last leg of the 4X100 with a half second league only to see Ryan Lochte fade and get overtaken by the French anchor Yannick Agnel as the US settled for the silver medal. Immediately afterward, questions started to get asked about the makeup of the team, centering largely on Lochte, and were directed at US swim coach Gregg Troy. His reply: “*shrug*”apparently.

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Coach K To LeBron: Congrats On The Ring…Now Get To London

“Everybody relax…LeBron’s still coming.”

The Miami Heat wrapped up the NBA Finals last night (I don’t know if you’ve heard about it yet or not), giving LeBron James his first NBA Championship in his illustrious career. Now he can put to bed all of the talk about how he can’t win a ring, that he’s cursed by his selfishness, and all that other talk because he’s achieved what every athlete hopes to by reaching the pinnacle of his profession. LeBron and the rest of the Big Three kept the party going last night, partying with Game 5 timeout entertainment LMFAO, and the South Beach celebration is sure to last all summer long! Oh, wait, never mind. Mike Krzyzewski needs King James for the Olympics…like now.

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Mark Cuban will not be running the Olympic torch anytime soon

At least there's no question of who farted...

Last season, the Dallas Mavericks were able to foil the plans of the best team ever conspired when they defeated the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals, winning an elusive championship for superstar Dirk Nowitzki, validating his illustrious career, and pretty much making sure owner Mark Cuban is completely insufferable (more so than usual) for the next several years. Nothing bolsters a rich loudmouth’s bravado quite like a big shiny trophy. This season, however, isn’t starting out so good for Cuban and the Mavs. Their big off-season acquisition, Lamar Odom, hasn’t found any rhythm whatsoever and nobody really knows what his role on the team is or will be going forward. The lockout messed with long-timers, like Nowitzki, and threw off their training camp routine of getting into shape for the season, so their bodies are having a difficult time adjusting to the rigorous and fast-paced post-lockout NBA schedule. Making things worse, Nowitzki has been nursing a sore knee all season, likely caused by the amount of wear and tear he’s put on it in the last seven months with the Mavericks’ deep playoff run and his summer spent at the European Championships trying to get his native Germany back to the Olympics. Germany fell short, Nowitzki has been held out for a week of games to try and rest the knee, and Mark Cuban is pissed, in particular with a certain international games.

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